Collision Course: Jets Vs Patriots — The Beginning

Over the next week and a half, almost all you will hear from New York to Boston and maybe a little beyond is about this game between two 9-2 teams.  Instead of the usual game breakdown and preview you may get from other sites, we are going to do something different here.

We are going to live the dream with Nick Bakay here.  Nick as everyone knows did the famous “advantage this, that, or push”.  Sorry it was too funny to do this for a game with so many ramifications.

So hey there he is….on the NFL Network.  Yes the patron saint of sports sarcasm.  Okay maybe this is not where I got it from completely but Nick Bakay is always never ever dull.  It is time to do this in style with funny commentary.  Who knows Mr. Brew may even jump in via the comments section.  This should be good.  Are you ready?  Can we dance?  Okay break it down now.  DAMNIT!  See what happens when you babysit little kids, you go all Yo Gabba Gabba on a post.

Now let us try this again.

New York Jets (9-2)

• Step in crap wins (wins under 10):  SIX
• Times crapping the bed:  TWICE (GB and BAL)
• Point THIS D (Times Jets have allowed 7 or less pts):   ZERO
• Number of Mark Sanchez 300 yard games:  TWO
• Times the Jets Flight Crew has gone covered up:  TWO (sad Jet fans)
• Has Mark Sanchez sought a 23 million $ a year deal?:   NO

New England Patriots (9-2)

• Step in crap wins :  FOUR
• Times crapping the bed:  TWICE (CLE? and NYJ)
• Point This D (Times Pats have allowed 7 or less):  HAHA….ZERO
• Number of Tom Brady 300 yard games:  Yes only TWO
• Times BB has lost to Jets Disciples:  TWO and they were ugly.
• Has the law firm had to retain counsel yet?:  NO

So taking these six pack of questions on each side, what do we have here?  The Jets have not allowed seven points or less while the Patriots have not allowed 13 or less.  That would be advantage Jets.  The Patriots have less wins by the way of stepping in the golden pile of crap.  Most of the other numbers are relatively even except for the fact that the Patriots crapped an entire second half against the Jets in meeting number one.

However it is time to say the following.  The Patriots have this key thing.  The Jets do not play well in Foxboro.  So add in all these crazy facts and we get this one question.

Who will win this one?


The answer will have to wait FOR NOW…….